Wise people find better ways to persuade people than war. Yet the best leaders do not shrink from action when it is necessary. As President Carter once said: "War may sometimes be a necessary evil but it is always evil." When confronted by the need for action, the wise leader does not shrink from action but strikes quickly but is well aware of the pain which violent action can bring.
Good generals do not order their soldiers into combat casually and when visiting the aftermath of a battlefield are well aware of the body count and that each body is a life that will never arise to life and love again.